Money conversations can feel like they are the elephant in the living room. Everyone sees the financial issues shaping their lives, but politeness dictates that we pretend money doesn’t shape our decisions and relationships. Without talking about money with others, we’re left to wonder how our friends and family are able to afford their lives and whether we’re the only ones who are sometimes worried about our finances.
Anxiety often grows where there is a lot of uncertainty. We can’t learn from others to budget, to save, and also to splurge if we don’t understand how others make financial decisions. Our own handling of money remains guesswork if we can’t exchange tips and get feedback on how we’re doing.
Despite the cultural taboo around talking about money, new research suggests that we should do exactly that. Researcher Matt Meister from the University of San Francisco and colleagues (2025) examined how openly discussing personal finances affects financial anxiety. Across eight studies that include large-scale surveys, longitudinal experiments, and text analysis of online forums, talking about money lowers financial anxiety. This result emerges because talking about money increased perceived financial control: Sharing helps people organize their thoughts, feel more capable of managing finances, and thus experience less distress. The benefits are strongest when individuals discuss aspects under their control (e.g., budgeting, spending) rather than uncontrollable factors (e.g., surprise expenses).
Interestingly, talking about money is even helpful when people do it anonymously, online with strangers. In one study with 302 U.S.-based university students, participants shared weekly posts over four weeks about either their financial health or their physical health in anonymously in moderated forums. The results showed that students in the financial health condition reported greater reductions in financial anxiety compared to those in the physical health condition. This effect was explained by perceived financial control: posting about money increased participants’ sense of control, which in turn reduced anxiety. Frequency mattered as well—those who posted more often (at least 12 times across the study) experienced stronger benefits, while infrequent posters saw little improvement.
So, how can we all talk about money in a way that’s helpful? First of all, start small and keep trying if the first attempts are a bit awkward. Instead of going all in, normalize money conversations with friends and family, for example, by asking how others budget for a vacation or what they consider a small luxury. Focus on what you and others can control so you can learn from each other. And finally, don’t hesitate to reach out online, because online forums and chats can be helpful to reduce our anxiety around money and to feel like we’re gaining back control over our finances.
