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A friend was just telling me that she and her husband take turns on seeking raises and new job opportunities (or any big career changes!) — and I thought that was really clever, and something we’ve never discussed here. So let’s discuss: how do you balance your career and your partner’s career? Do you take turns with regard to your careers? What guidelines do you generally follow? Have you always done that, or did you start after children?
(On the flip side, does anyone want to share stories about how one career has taken the lead in your relationship, whether yours or your partner’s, and how that has looked? I think there are obvious things that people think of — moving (particularly for jobs in academia!), leaning out or leaving to stay home with the kids — but what are the less obvious ways?)
It hasn’t really been an issue in my marriage (we’ve both been in our current gigs for a long time!) — but as my friend was describing it it sounded great. I loved that it meant that they both encouraged and supported each other through all of that — the anxiety of the job interview, the upheaval of a new job — but what I really thought was smart was that it basically put each one on a schedule to seek new opportunities or promotions on a regular basis. In their family it particularly makes sense because they have two elementary-aged children, but I could also see it being a smart move even for couples without kids, older kids, or empty nesters.
Over to you, readers — do you and your partner take turns with your careers? Or have you found a better way to share the mental space required for new opportunities?
