Most (not all!) people love hugs, but have you ever wondered how to have a perfect hug with another person who also wants to hug you? Here are some recent scientific findings on which factors influence how much we like a hug.
1. Hug like you mean it—deep pressure is the key!
A recent study in the scientific journal Biological Psychology investigated which elements of touching during hugging influence the feeling of social connection with the other person (Damon and co-workers, 2025). Seventy-five volunteers experienced either deep or light pressure from a weighted blanket while they were also exposed to warm or neutral temperature packs while they looked at pictures of people who were close to them. The result? Especially deep, warm pressure evoked a feeling of social connection with the person the volunteers looked at. Light touch or neutral deep touch was not as effective in evoking social connection. Therefore, for a perfect hug, hug the other person like you mean it, and don’t be afraid to apply a little pressure—a very light hug will not evoke a strong feeling of connection (but of course, do not overdo it).
2. Hug between 5 and 10 seconds!
In a study from London, it was shown that volunteers rated hugs that took 5 or 10 seconds as more pleasurable than hugs that took 1 second (Dueren and co-workers, 2021). It is probably not a good idea to hug much longer than 10 seconds with most people, as many people find very long hugs awkward at some point. The duration of the hug also depends a bit on the relationship between the two people who hug. A recent study I was part of found that friends, on average, hug for about 3 seconds, while lovers hug about 7 seconds (Ocklenburg and co-workers, 2025).
3. Both criss-cross and neck-waist hugs are great!
The study by Dueren and co-workers (2021) mentioned above also investigated whether the type of hug affected how much people liked it. They compared criss-cross hugs (the arms of the hugging partners are crossed over each other’s shoulders and waist) to neck-waist hugs (one person hugs the shoulders of the other person, who wraps their arms around the waist of the first person). However, the scientists did not find differences between the two types of hugs; both were great.
4. Consider your hugging partner’s personality!
The study on hugging and relationship status mentioned above also investigated the effects of personality variables on hugging (Ocklenburg and co-workers, 2025). The results showed that people who have high neuroticism and worry a lot prefer a bit more distance during hugging, while people who are very responsible and diligent in their social relationships tend to prefer less distance during hugging.
5. Hug with the left arm first!
When hugging someone, people have to decide whether they lead the hug with the right or the left arm. A study from 2019 has shown that overall, most people tend to hug with the right arm first, but particularly in very emotional hugs, there was a shift to more left-sided hugs (Packheiser and co-workers, 2019). It has been suggested that this reflects an important role of the right hemisphere of the brain (which controls the left side of the body) for processing emotions.
6. Hug someone you love!
A Japanese study showed that it matters a lot who you hug (Yoshida and co-workers, 2020). A study in babies and their parents showed that a hug between baby and parent reduced the heart rate of both, indicating relaxation. This effect was not found when a female stranger gave the baby a hug. This shows that hugging people close to us has particularly positive effects.
