One of the most popular concepts in relationship counseling, the idea of speaking the same “love language” as your romantic partner, is widely and unquestioningly accepted. Simply put, a love language is a way of communicating, verbally and non-verbally, with your partner. Like spoken languages, love languages come in a variety of forms. If you and your partner are going to get along, your preferred language needs to match.
Where Does the Idea of Love Languages Come From?
In an earlier post, I summarized the history of love languages and their five varieties. Relationship counselor Gary Chapman is credited with inventing the term in his book The Five Love Languages. He consolidated his many decades of working with couples in this book into this framework, believing that when it comes to relationship satisfaction, it’s all about the match in communication. Each of you will have one preferred language out of these five:
Physical touch: communicating through touch
Acts of service: doing things for your partner
Words of affirmation: expressing your love
Quality time: making room in your schedule for each other
Gifts: giving things to each other
In the earlier post, each language…
