Lindsay stifled a chuckle as she listened in to the off-color joke that her colleagues shared. She knew the rules. Human Resources had clearly reviewed the company policy on inappropriate conduct and sexual harassment. All employees were required to recertify that they understood that policy every two years. And Lindsay had been with XYZ Corp for 15 years. She’d had her share of sexual harassment training. She could probably teach one of the classes. But it was still funny. How could you not laugh at an old Richard Pryor joke? He was a comedic genius! Nevertheless, Lindsay knew not to laugh out loud, but her chuckle, unbeknownst to her, did not go unnoticed by one of her male colleagues.
Eric saw Lindsay’s silent chuckle. He’d always thought she was so stuffy. 15 years with the company, and all she seemed to show for it was a prestigious title. She never seemed to loosen up at corporate events. Eric knew she was divorced, and that she had adult kids. She’d never brought a date to events where spouses or partners were allowed. Eric didn’t know if she was gay or straight. But he did know she was attractive, and he’d always been attracted to her. He just didn’t know how to crack her hardened exterior. Lindsay’s chuckle had given him just what he thought he needed to take the next step.
A couple of weeks after what Lindsay will now call “the joke incident,” Eric began to swing by her office. He needed her opinion on a quick issue. He wanted to run something by her. He wondered if she’d received the latest corporate communication. Lindsay wasn’t sure where the attention was coming from, but she didn’t mind. It didn’t disrupt her schedule too much, and Eric was always nice and courteous when he stopped by. So, when Eric suggested that they partner to discuss the latest changes in the company at a local happy hour spot, she didn’t object. Lindsay had participated in these types of “informal meetings” before and sometimes they were more productive than actually meeting in the office.
Lindsay and Eric arrived at the bar at about the same time. She ordered a glass of wine and he ordered a scotch and water. Lindsay sighed and leaned back in her chair. It was good to be out of the office. She felt like she could actually relax. That is, until Eric thought he’d lighten the mood by repeating an off-color joke that he said he’d read on Facebook. At the punchline Eric let out a hearty laugh. Lindsay felt uncomfortable, but she smiled anyway. She didn’t think Eric was trying to offend her. Maybe she should loosen up. Lindsay and Eric got through their discussion, but not before he shared a few more of those jokes.
Lindsay didn’t know what had changed. She didn’t want to jeopardize the partnership that she’d developed with Eric by being too stuffy, but she certainly didn’t like his new comfort zone. Eric’s “jokes” began to come more frequently. Sometimes he commented broadly enough to not single her out, but specific enough to make her feel incredibly uncomfortable. Lindsay couldn’t believe the situation she’d found herself in. Her familiarity with sexual harassment training gave her all the knowledge that she needed to file a report, but did she really want to do that? She didn’t want to be perceived as “that” woman. She was strong. She was an executive. She could handle this. Maybe if she became a little more standoffish, he would get the hint…
Stop Street Harassment conducted a survey, and of those women surveyed:
- 77% reported being victims of verbal sexual harassment
- 51% reported being victims of unwanted sexual touching
- 41% reported being victims of cybersexual harassment
NBC/WSJ found that 48% of employed American women have experienced sexual, verbal, or physical harassment at work.
If you are encountering or have encountered a situation at work that makes/made you feel uncomfortable, don’t think that it will go away. Tell someone.