If you’ve been holding back your needs in a relationship, afraid that speaking up may rock the boat, it might be time to face the truth that your silence is coming at a cost. That cost is likely either yourself, the very relationship you’re trying to build and protect, or both. Love isn’t always fifty-fifty, but it’s not always unequal and unbalanced either. Your problems matter, your needs matter, and if their issues always take center stage while yours are pushed aside, there may already be an imbalance at play.
Here are two ways you can actually ask for your needs without feeling guilty or melting down when you feel overwhelmed.
1. Be Upfront and Say What You Want
A surprisingly large number of people in relationships hope their partners will just understand what they need without them actually voicing it, thinking that love is naturally accompanied by a degree of mind-reading abilities. However, most empirical data show that even the healthiest of relationships require open communication. Communication might be the root of a relationship’s health.
A 2021 study in the Journal of Family Psychology showed that when people expressed their feelings and thoughts openly during a conflict,…
