We’ve all heard this maxim before: “Fake it until you make it.”
“Act like you are, even if you aren’t.”
“Think like you have it, even if you don’t.”
“Be positive, and positive things will follow.\”
We’re encouraged to be counterfeit until reality catches up. Read that again. Fake it until you make it is being Counterfeit (fake). Until. Reality. Catches. Up. It doesn’t sound so good when put that way. Don’t misunderstand, I believe in the power of manifestation. I have faith for the blessings that await me. I believe in exuding confidence and expectation for the good things that I believe are in store, but it’s dangerous to encourage inauthenticity and forsake reality. Healing is a process. Growth is a process. Transformation is a process. When we focus too narrowly on the end result, we deny ourselves the process. My father died in 2018, and I sprang into action. I researched and directed all of the arrangements from the transport of his body from our house to his final burial and all of the details in between. Everyone thanked me, congratulated me, or marveled over how in-charge and in-control I was. And I was. It was true. I had to be. That’s my role. But when the flowers stopped coming, when everyone returned to their homes, when life returned to living and not reacting (acting), I had to face all that I had hidden, compartmentalized, and faked for the sake of having it all together and putting it all together. The truth was I needed the same grieving process that everyone else needed. I faked it to do what needed to be done, but in doing so I denied myself the process of healing. I wasn’t as strong as my counterfeit image portrayed, and only my husband knew the truth of my pain and need to grieve. You can fake it until you make it, and you might just achieve your goal, but how much baggage do you bring with you? The Bible says in Roman 12:2, “be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” It doesn’t say act like you’re renewed and so shall you be. In order to be transformed, we have to get through the process. Instead of “fake it until you make it”, I suggest “deal with it, and then move on.” You’ll be healthier on the other side. Be blessed.
M.B. Butler